First there was one and now there are two. The switch from a hormonal pregnant woman to a new mom is quite sudden. It’s nothing you’ve ever experienced before, slightly daunting, somewhat thrilling and a whole lotta frightening. For someone who goes through these varied emotions, any input be it from their friends, relatives or even strangers, specially the ones that make them feel inadequate are considered totally unwarranted. Here are few the new moms absolutely detest.
You are fucked. For life. (I know but that’s not what I want to hear right after popping a human being out of my vajajay).
Your baby cries a lot. (And so do millions of other babies around the world. I am glad yours didn’t but I wish he/she had and some more)
My child sleeps through the night. How come yours doesn’t? (YES your child is an angel and mine is a devil. Someone kill me).
You MUST put her on a schedule. Don’t get up to feed her on demand. (Err and let her cry for hours?)
Don’t talk to her too much. (And miss out on the opportunity to bitch about people like you? No thanks).
Sleep when the baby sleeps.
Don’t hold her too much. She will become clingy. (She was inside me for 9 months!! Let me write this down again. 9 months!!!!!!!!!)
OMG you’ve gained a lot. (What. An. Observation).
Your milk supply is low? Really!. You should try harder.